The Unethical Attraction

Matthew.

Smart.

Sexy.

Assertive.

Challenging - he loves to argue.

Level-headed.

My boss.

I know it is so unethical to be attracted to my boss (hence the title) but I am.

It's torture because apart from my rule of: "No anal sex," my second rule is: "Do not fall for someone who can make or break your career."

It's not about mixing business with pleasure. I am for the latter but this unfortunately runs deeper...

He's the kind of guy I don't think I would ever get fed up with.

This troubles me big time...

I am not a relationship person. I can hardly see myself getting married. My role model is Samantha Jones from Sex & The City so do I sound like I'm the marrying type?

The short answer is: "No."

Even my friends know I'm not the marrying type.

Don't get me wrong, they never say never, they reckon I could fall in love but marriage is a lot more improbable.

I do see myself in maybe a long-term relationship starting in my 40s or 50s (with a toyboy if I'm well-preserved) and probably dabbling in some not so long-term relationships before then but not in a marriage.

The baby thing however is a different issue. I mean, if I couldn't find someone to be a great father, I'd love to have one with a gay best friend. My gay best friend, Kalvin. He'd be a great father. Fashionable, bitchy but loving and caring. Quite a stereotypical gay. (He never used to be but slowly developed into one when he realised he was good at being one hehe.)

Anyways.. back to the boss...

The day I realised I may more than fancy him was the night we worked late together. A probable cliché but the story...

There was a deadline that, at the last minute, was made for the next 24 hours instead of the original date.. a week from that day. So as you can imagine, the office was in panic and everyone had to work at least 7 times harder than usual.

Having called everyone to work early at 5am. We managed to get it done, not at the best level, but done. The last thing that had to be done only needed the boss and a helper. Being seen as the "Deputy Head," although that isn't my title, I was elected as the helper.

We had been arguing all day over the best ideas; however by this point, we knew we had to make quick decisions so we didn't have time to have long arguments.

We were in my office.

He brought me a coffee and suggested we should take a little break.

I was in black high-waist trousers that were a little wide-legged/baggy. (I was gonna wear a pencil skirt but rushing around the office in a pencil skirt isn't easy.) I wore a white blouse - tucked into my trousers with a wide black and patent belt on my high waist - in other words, the place where the shirt meets the trousers on the outside. I was in monochrome since I am taken a lot more seriously in black and white. I wonder.. does it remind people of the police? I don't know.. but it worked. Everyone got the work done quickly and efficiently.

He was in a sharp suit. He doesn't have the best physique but he's started going to the gym so he's begun to get toned and muscly. I've only seen his forearms when he rolls up or folds up his sleeves. They have muscle. He also has lost the double (almost triple) chin he somehow had even though he was not obese or overweight (at least he didn't look overweight before).
It's not the looks that matter with him though.

What he does have is charisma...

The smile.

The walk.

The humour.

The wit.

The stare.

This was the stare he was giving me at the time he handed me the coffee.

I stared back at him. My mouth slightly open. His mouth on his coffee cup, sipping.

I was so horny already and seeing him give me "the stare" was getting me wet, literally.

I sipped my coffee looking away from him.. I could see him staring at me in the corner of my eye.

There was definitely chemistry between us.

When we were arguing it was at it's best. I could tell during an argument we just wanted to rip each other's clothes off and fuck each other right there and then.. but since we argued mostly in public, around the workplace, that would be unprofessional...

He put down his coffee and talked:

"So what would you be doing if you weren't stuck here with me?"

Sitting on the front of my desk. I put down my coffee. I replied:
"At the club about to get fucked or at home getting fucked. You?"

"At home wishing I was getting fucked."
I laughed. He smiled. He sat next to me and picked up his coffee. I picked up mine.

"Who would you be getting fucked by?"
He said coyly. Sipping his coffee after he spoke, pretending he didn't care what the answer was.

"A fuck friend. I don't do one night stands. They're less likely to have gone by morning."
He laughed. I liked making him laugh because then there was: The smile.

Oh God, I've gone soft again... *Repeats to self in head: "I am not falling for him. I am not falling for him..."*

Back to the conversation we had...

I thought I'd play along with his game.. I put down my coffee.
"So who do you wish you were fucking right now?"
I said this, looking at him in the way I look at guys, who I want to kiss me...

He looked at me. Coughed. Stared at me again and..
"I don't know."

"Are you sure? You look like you know."
He put down his coffee. I don't know what made me stand up.. but I did.
"We should get back to work."
I said it but I didn't mean it. What I meant was.. have sex with me, right here, right now. Up against the wall, up against my glass window that overlooked the city, in my chair...

After a few seconds of: The stare. He stood up. He stood directly in front of me. He leaned down to kiss me and did. I kissed him back. An amazing, soft kiss. I was getting weak at the knees. He started undoing my belt, unbuttoning my blouse. I started unbuttoning his shirt. He was shirtless, I was belt- and blouse-less. I took off my trousers with the undoing of a zip. They fell right down. I kept on my black patent stiletto heels. I had matching lingerie - remember I'm a lingerie lover and collector. I stopped kissing him, went to my desk drawer and got out a few condoms. I put the rest on the desk and took one over to him. He had already taken off his trousers and socks. I took off his Ralph Lauren boxers. He was already hard, big, long. I put on the condom. I got up and he started kissing me again. He lifted me up still kissing me. I put my legs around his hips as he lifted. He pushed me up against the wall, I took off my bra. He sucked on my nipples. I was already so wet. He kissed me again and I stroked his dick.

"Put it in me."
I said softly but urgently. He did.
I moaned loadly. He started fingering my clit.
"Lie down on the floor."
Again, I said this softly but urgently. He did.

I did the reverse cowgirl - this gave me access to his balls. I got into position, putting him in me. He put his hands on my butt. I thrusted. I stroked his balls. Using my own wetness as lubricant. He moaned louder and louder. I moaned louder and louder.. I had one hand rubbing his balls, one hand on my clit. I thrusted and thrusted. He came. I came.

I got off him and turned around this time kneeling with my knees and legs low enough on either side so my mouth was in line with his dick. I sucked and soon it was hard again. This time he was heavy breathing. I love heavy breathing. I love him heavy breathing. After 2-5 minutes he came again.

"Your turn. Lie down."

He said, smirking, he kissed me before I did.

Lying down, I couldn't wait for him to do something.

He tongued my clit, fingering it. He put 2-3 fingers up me. He got man-i-cures, his hands were so soft. His feet were nice and looked soft too so obviously he got pedicures too.

My knees bent and pelvis lifted out of my control, he was incredible. I orgasmed big time.

I looked up, he went to get a condom.. he was coming in...

I was still wet so of course I let him.

A lot of thrusts and positions later, we both came this time me first then him.

It was indescribable sex, so passionate, so urgent, soooooooo good.

Afterwards, we lay there, recovering from the extremely sweaty sex.

I was lying on his arm, he had strong deodorant which meant he still smelt lovely. It smelt like Lynx. I love Lynx.

I decided to climb on top of him and lay there. He was looking into my eyes and giving me: The stare. I was looking into his eyes...

It hit me. I wanted to be his. It wasn't just the passionate, best sex of my life (though I'm sure that had something to do with it). It was everything about him. His modesty. His assertiveness. His charming personality.

I kissed him trying to prove myself wrong by keeping my eyes open.

I couldn't.

I got up.

I put on my clothes.

"What's wrong?"
He asked, with a concerned look on his face.
"Nothing that was more than I could've ever imagined it would be."
I thought I'd be honest about the sex at least...
"So what are you doing now?"
I was shuffelling papers on my desk.. pretending I was reading through something... He started to get dressed.
"Getting on with the work, remember? The deadline..."
"Aren't we going to talk about us?"
Yikes. He wanted the conversation... I hate the serious relationship conversations. All of them. The: "What are we?" And/or the: "Where is this relationship going?" These were the worst ones. I'm so bad at both. I always end up lying / saying something I don't mean. Like the "L" word just to keep someone happy. The problem was that this time it could almost be true...

I decided to nip it in the bud before he starts to get the wrong idea or the right idea...

I stopped organising the desk and looked at him straight in the eye while saying the following:
"This was a one-nighter. I know I said I don't do that and I don't.. with strangers. Since I know you, I assume you are safe. Plus I do find you attractive. I'm guessing you find me attractive so I don't think we need to make this anymore than it was. Two horny colleagues, perhaps even friends, who trust each other so decided to use each other for sex. No strings attached. I got some. You got some. It's finished. Can we work now..?"

He looked at me in disbelief. I wasn't sure whether he could see right through me or whether he was just shocked by my bluntness and agreed or worse, he was shocked and could see right through me but agreed with the lie.

He nodded, his head looking away from me. Looking at the papers on my desk.
"OK, erm.. sure. Whatever you say."
The stare.

I couldn't tell what he was thinking. No wonder he's a poker expert...

We threw away the old cold coffee. We got new coffee.

We made the deadline.

There's still chemistry and tension between us.

Everytime we're alone I leave immediately unless we have work to discuss then I discuss it then leave.

We still argue about work though, the best times at work are when we argue.

The heat. The intensity. Where's my rampant rabbit?

Kisses, V.V.