The Son

Matthew came back much earlier than expected and guess who he's brought back with him? Obvious answer - his son. Seeing him with his son isn't even the worst part.

What's the worst part you ask? His son is way hotter, its ridiculous. He looks like some teen idol! I'm telling you, if he was a celebrity, tweens, teens, young adults (that's my group) and probably even mature women everywhere would be getting very damp down below just by looking at him. No wait, I'm not finished, he's gotten permission to be his dad's PA for a few months while the original PA takes a long holiday. Not. Good. (Plus since when do people have the money to take months long holidays anymore?) What this all means is I have to deal with not only seeing Matthew again every day (who's still a good-looking guy I still share chemistry with) but also, I now have to deal with his son, a young Adonis - he's only a few years down from my age - who is completely off limits!

On a good note, Matthew and I are getting on surprisingly well. Its like old times pre-our failed relationship just less flirting. We have our moments though (I guess old habits really do die hard and by moments I'm talking those flirty moments where the tension rises and you feel like you gotta do something like kiss each other passionately) but we always manage to ignore them and they don't seem to mean anything.

Coming up is my recent escapades with "The Architect". (I'll be honest, my lust for Ted in HIMYM did play a fairly big part in my attraction to him.)

Kisses, V.V.

The Rule-Breaking Was Found Out

Do you remember this post?

Nia found out. She hates me. He hates me.

She hates me for obvious reasons. I told her that I did it because I was depressed around the time and so was he and we were just looking for attention. Which is true.

He hates me because I revealed that he played me which he so did. He lied to me when he told me that they didn't have sex anymore and turns out they had a fine and healthy sex life. So basically he made me feel sorry for him.

It seems both of them blame me for their relationship falling apart?! She cheated on him with his best friend for months and I'm to blame?!

She called me terrible things which I deserve.

I feel so guilty and evil but there's no point in dwelling. I hate myself for getting myself into this mess. It was long ago now though. A friend told me: "We're too young to dwell on these things, you're not evil, we just need to learn from these mistakes and move on." Such wise words.

Nia's a gossip and a big bitch when she hates someone so I'm hoping she doesn't spread this to people we both know.. at least I have her cheating ways to spread around to get back at her but I don't like gossiping about other people so I'd rather not have to do that. I simply can't be arsed with that shit.

Kisses, V.V.

The Gym Should Replace Dating Agencies

Sorry for the lack of updates. My life has been much less dramatic of late which is actually really nice. I decided to update you now so that I can secretly skyve off work.

I haven't heard from Matthew since he left which is really good. I haven't thought about him since now.

Enrique is still a friend with benefits. We have our moments but for the most part we're best friends. We date other people and we even talk about the people we date. I'm so proud of our maturity when handling our pretty complicated relationship.

Onto the title of my post... I've been dating and juggling since the ex. All of my recent "relationships" have lasted no more than around 3 dates. I just haven't felt that "spark" with anyone. You know, that feeling you get when you realize you want to know everything about that person as well as have passionate sex with them over and over again? My dates involve getting to know one another and then some good sex. Unfortunately not all of the sex is good nor is all the conversation but whatever. Most of my dates have been acquaintances from the gym. I only just joined it to tone up my body. I hardly have time to eat with work which is how I keep svelte but I still feel flabby in places. I've been approached in the gym many a time so I've gone on dates with men from the gym many a time. Luckily most guys who work out are of the womanizer variety thus there's no awkwardness when we see each other when we stop dating. I love it when guys think the same about the relationship.. it saves any messiness afterwards.

I have a personal trainer to get myself motivated. He's the hottest trainer there of course and we flirt now and again but always in a professional manner. I wonder if he does home visits?

Kisses, V.V.

The Intense Decision

I was in my room when Enrique burst through the door and walked towards me until he was standing in front of my bed. I looked up from my laptop confused and asked: "Is something wrong?"

"You tell me."

"Just tell me what's wrong.. I'm really not in the mood for guessing games right now Enrique."

"When were you going to tell me you're back with Matthew?"

"What? I'm not back with Matthew?"

"Don't lie. I've been informed you're going to a romantic dinner tonight."

"No we're going for a normal dinner to talk and I'm telling him its over for good."

"Okay, so that means we're back on right?"

"Excuse me?"

"I meant what I said that night. I still love you."

"Okay stop it. We can't do this love thing anymore it's exhausting."

"What?"

"I don't trust you. Even if I chose you, I'd never feel secure at least I knew where I stood with Matthew."

"Why can't you trust me?"

"You left me without a goodbye once."

"Oh come on.. there were reasons.. I already told you those reasons."

"Enrique.. since you've come back into my life.. you've been with girl after girl.. I don't blame you.. they're gorgeous.. would you really be satisfied with just me? Think about it. I'm trying to be practical."

"I went with girl after girl because I didn't have you and all of those girls combined are nothing compared to you."

"Yeah.. that's the way to get me.. by using a cheesy line." *Note: Sarcasm. "Enrique.. I've thought this through and I think we should just keep our amazing friendship and if we ever get really lonely maybe, just maybe, we can have some fun now and again but I can't let you have my heart.. not right now. I'm still not over Matthew and Kalvin's right, I just need to figure out my feelings before acting on anything."

He walked to sit on the other side of the bed and lay down.. giving a sigh of defeat. I put down my laptop and lay down too. (I was wearing cute underwear by the way.) We turned on our sides to look at each other. "How on earth am I going to be able to be just friends with someone who looks that good in underwear?"

"Wow your lines are so original." *Note: More sarcasm.

"God, I love you."

I smiled and said: "I love you too." I meant it.

"So we're like friends with benefits?"

"I guess so."

"Do friends with benefits have romantic dinners?"

"No."

"Do friends with benefits snuggle and kiss?"

"Only after sex."

"Can we have sex?"

"Not now. I'd feel weird sleeping with you then going to tell Matthew that I'm dumping him."

"Really I wouldn't feel weird at all." He smirked. I smiled. "I believe the emotion I'd feel is.. oh what's the word again?" A short pause. "Smugness. Or maybe proud? No smug is definitely the emotion I'd be feeling."

"Wow your cockiness is so attractive right now." I climbed on top of him.

"Really?" I started stroking his cock."

"Yes it is." He started moaning with pleasure.

I kept wanking until he said: "I'm cumming." I stopped.

"Damn, I've got to go." I got up and started getting clothes from the closet. He lay there in shock with a bulging hard on.

"You're fucking kidding me right?"

"I'm really not." I thought he'd leave in a fit. (I did this because I didn't like him making a mockery out of Matthew's hurt by the way.) Instead as I removed my underwear, he decided to get out his cock and start wanking until he came while watching me. I had to force myself to not look.. he wanks in a way that looks sexy, its probably his perfect body that makes it sexy.

When he cleaned himself up. He came up behind me and reached under my dress (that I had just slipped on) and started fingering my clit in a way that made me wild then he whispered in my ear: "Two can play at this game." He made me cum, held onto me as my body spasmed with pleasure and then left obviously feeling smug. Damnit. He won.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I went to dinner and felt guiltier the whole time. I told him it was over. I told him sorry for screwing up our almost perfect relationship. I told him sorry for wasting his time. I also thought he'd go off in a strop but instead he was the perfect gentleman. He finished his dinner with me and told me that he was going to work for a year in New York. It was his plan if I rejected him plus he wanted to spend some "manly time" with his son who lives there with his American mother. I accepted his decision, I needed a break from him too so it seemed like a great idea. We left dinner in the best way we could.

Me and Matthew are officially over.

Kisses, V.V.

The Awkwardness and Confusion

Sorry again for the long wait between posts.. I'm either busy with work or just don't have anything good enough to post or am unsure how to start a post like the last one took a few weeks to write up thus why I was like "2-3 weeks ago" and at the beginning I said "recently".

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Matthew and I are still on a break.. and guess what I did that week that it happened? I was awful and took the wimp's way out: I avoided him completely.

I actually hadn't needed to go into the office since that night because the tasks I had at work were easy enough to do at home plus I called the big boss and said I needed a break from the office, he's a great boss so he understood and must've figured I needed a break from the noise like he sometimes does.

Matthew called me all that week but I couldn't bare to pick up the phone and my housemates were nice enough to cover for me since they knew what happened.. no such thing as a secret at our place hence why we're all such good friends.

I wasn't actually going to tell them but Enrique confided in Kalvin's straight twin, who lives with us too, for advice since me and straight twin dated in the past (Kalvin set us up before straight twin lived with us, Kalvin was hoping and still hopes I could become his sister-in-law) for a few months but it was more of a long fling than a serious relationship since we're not compatible enough (although we were compatible enough in the bedroom but it was weird since he looks just like Kalvin). Straight twin brought the other men in our group who don't live with us (6 of us live under this roof) into the conversation and so when he told me he told straight twin and they told the other guys then I decided to tell my next best friend, the twins' older sister, Brooke. Also told Mya at the same time since they were both in their shared room, she's Brooke's best friend and of course a good friend of mine.

Their opinions?

Kalvin thinks it wasn't technically wrong that I slept with Enrique since me and Matthew are on a break but he does think I need time out from both of them to figure out who and what I want.

Brooke thinks I'm only human (she openly admits that she thinks Enrique is hot and if he didn't love me then she'd be trying to "tap that" haha) and what was I to do faced with his perfectly toned and naked body. She's openly shallow so she thinks I should go for the hotter guy which is admittedly Enrique. Kalvin reckons he's got a similar look to Jesse Metcalfe minus the inability to commit. I sort of agree but to me Enrique is Enrique just like Kalvin is Kalvin so its hard for me to figure out the celebrity lookalike thing. Luckily Kalvin, whose guilty pleasure is celebrity gossip magazines, is always on hand to give me a celebrity that someone resembles. Who do I look like you ask? Now that would be telling hehe. I don't quite believe it anyways. They're way too pretty to look like me.

Mya is a big believer in monogamy so telling her was like being put in front of the judge for a direct verdict. She sympathized because she hates jealous men but she also thinks that even though we're on a break.. it was literally only minutes after that I slept with him. She believes women should be more in control of their hormones hence why as much as she loves her best friend Brooke.. a promiscuous-hornier-than-myself-bisexual.. she can't help but sometimes argue with Brooke about her one-night-stands particularly when she has consecutive nights away at random guys' apartments. She also thought I should tell Matthew and I shouldn't expect him to understand. To put it bluntly: I fucked up my relationship with Matthew.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I picked up the phone the week after we took the break. I was sitting on my bed when my mobile rang.. it was the second time that day.. the first was early morning.. I answered: "Hi."

Matthew: "Hi. I've missed you. I'm sorry I've been such a dick I.."

"Stop."

"What?"

"Stop talking. I need to tell you something and you can't interrupt me."

"Okay."

"We're over. The night I said I needed a break from you.. was the same night I slept with Enrique." Silence on the other end. I was waiting for him to shout at me, to tell me to go to hell but nothing. He just hung up the phone. Well that was the end of that. I was too confused to even think about being upset. I had told him but I wasn't sure whether it was because I thought it was the right thing or because I wanted to push him away or because I didn't want to get back with him without being honest. My mind just seemed to draw blanks. So many thoughts but none making sense.

A few days later I got a call from the office saying he was flying to New York for business so they really needed me back in the office. It's time to move on I thought.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Last week.. he came back and his return was at a work do. I decided to not attend. I had missed him too much. I thought I might start crying if I saw him.. I wasn't ready. It would be too hard.

It was past midnight and I figured since everyone attended the do (not all of us work together but you could bring a guest so those who aren't my colleagues were the plus ones), they would be sleeping over at a friend's house who lives near where the do was taking place. Sure enough I got the call that everyone would be staying there so I decided to get some sleep.

Around 2am.. there was a knock at my door. I went to open it.. I hadn't managed to get any sleep yet.. and there he was, Matthew, standing in the doorway: "Hi." He said.. not angry. Not sad. Just normal.

"Hi." I said back, shocked. He was the last person I was expecting to see. " Do you want to come in?" He nodded and walked through the door. I closed the door behind him. He came towards me and pinned me up against the wall and kissed me.

After a long soft kiss.. God I'd missed him.. he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso and he carried me to my room. I was wearing night shorts and and a vest top and he was wearing a formal suit. He slowly undressed me and I quickly undressed him. I had missed his touch so much.

Before we had sex he stared at my naked body as if he was cherishing the moment or taking a mental picture. He even ran just his left pinky down my body from my forehead to my private place.. gently caressing my clit. His hands were so warm against my cold body. We didn't bother with foreplay.. we just had sex right away. It was the right balance of sweet and rough. I didn't want it to end but it did...

After the intense love-making.. we lay in bed.. holding hands and I lay on his arm while he just stared down at me.. then he said: "I love you. I missed you. So much."

"I've treated you so badly.. I don't deserve your love." I couldn't look him in the eye.. I suddenly remembered everything I'd done and felt so guilty. The past 40ish minutes made me forget the past couple of months.. all our problems.

"I'm the one who needs to apologize to you." I was so puzzled.

"What are you taking about?" He stopped looking me in the eye.

"I have an 18-year-old son, Benji is his name. His mother is my ex-wife." I sat up in my bed.

"What? You never told me this before."

"I know, I'm sorry, I guess I was just scared you wouldn't see me in the same way if I had.. you know.. baggage." I didn't know how to react. It was just so unexpected.

"I don't know what to say or think."

"There's more..." How on earth could there be more? "When I was on my business trip.. I slept with my ex-wife." There it was. Chest pain. I felt like my chest had burst open. Could this be the heartache that people talk of? I hadn't felt this feeling since Enrique disappeared off to Japan with his family... "Venus?" I stayed silent. What could I say? How was I supposed to react to this? I got out of bed and put a robe on my bare body.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted to let you know that now we've both slept with other people.. you don't have to feel so guilty and we can go on as normal.. like before.. like before Enrique."

"It can never go back to how it was before Enrique, Matthew." A look of mortification appeared on his face.

"What do you mean? Of course it can." I sighed and sat on the bed and hung my head while playing with the hem of my knee length silk robe.

"No it can't. Like it or not, Enrique is a part of my life now I mean he's my flat mate for God's sake."

"He could always move out."

"I'm not going make him go out on the streets just because you're jealous of him. I understand your insecurity but I need someone who can trust me and you obviously can't." I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to know how he was feeling yet alone see how he was feeling.

"Look at me." I turned to look at him.

"I love you. Don't I matter?"

"Of course you do. We're just not meant to be that's all."

"Move in with me."

"What?"

"You were practically living with me before."

"Yes practically but not actually."

He stayed silent then he got up and got dressed as quick as he could without looking like he was rushing. When he finished, he said: "Let me know what you decide to do as soon as you can. Its me. Or him." He walked out. Leaving me with a thousand different thoughts but again none of them making any sense.

Kisses, V.V.

Sorry for Lack of Updates

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've been busy and there hasn't been much drama in my life at the moment but something happened recently that was too dramatic to not post.

Anyways.. over the weeks I'd sort of been avoiding Enrique where possible to decrease Matthew's jealousy but one night recently we went on a break.. here's what happened...

So obviously since I grew up with E, we both know way too much about each other hence E knows stuff that Matt doesn't know about yet.. one topic being food.

So like 2-3 weeks ago, the group (my roommates including Enrique) decided to arrange dinner at a great restaurant. Matthew said he wouldn't be able to make it since he thought he'd be too tied up at work.

We arrived at the restaurant and were seated in the VIP section (thanks to the hostess being a conquest of one of our group - the straight twin (yep we have twins in our group.. they're actually fraternal twins but they look almost identical although we can now tell them apart more due to the straight twin being a bit more buff than Justin Timberlake whereas the gay twin is buff but more slender than Justin Timberlake). FYI I'm writing this with the gay twin's help and he drew the comparison but I have to agree that the twins have a similar look to JT.. he'd also like to be acknowledged so I introduce to you: Kalvin. Oh right back to the story...

I ended up sitting across from Enrique. We ordered and we chatted. Just before the food came, Matthew arrived but obviously sat at the end of the table - also on the opposite side - since he wasn't able to sit next to me (I was in plain sight of him though and we would smile and he'd sometimes mouth "love you" which was cute).

So the food came and I had some rocket on my dish which I hate and Enrique doesn't mind.. he had tomatoes on his plate which he hates but I don't mind. Growing up, we'd often give each other food we didn't like but the other doesn't mind and when he became one of my roommates we started doing that again just not in front of Matthew due to his ever-increasing jealousy. We weren't gonna hide this fact at first but some of the group pointed out that its something that is only restricted to couples and best friends of the same sex.

However we forgot about the fact it would be weird and on a reflex starting swapping.. with Matthew watching. I looked up after we finished and he had a solemn expression on his face. I smiled at him to show him it wasn't a big deal and he tried to smile back but he obviously thought it was weird. A few of the group looked at me in a "I told you so" way and I just shrugged it off.

He was sorta quiet in the car home and told me he had an "earlier morning because he didn't finish the work he was supposed to finish by tomorrow" so he dropped me off at my place instead of bringing me back to his. I called him on it asking him what's wrong? He just said he was tired and I told him I knew it was about the whole food thing and that it was pathetic to be jealous of that.. he's a friend and nothing more and the more he overreacts the more he drives me to actually wanting to be with Enrique just to shut him up. Not the best thing to say but I had reached my tipping point and said I need a break from him. "You know what.. we are officially on a break.. I can't take your jealousy anymore." I believe those were my exact words before getting out of his car.

Unfortunately that wasn't the end of my night.. it carries on when I got in the apartment... I was BAD.

I decided to go for a shower to cool down since I wasn't getting sex that night and so I undressed in my bedroom, put a towel around me and walked into the bathroom.. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't realise the bathroom light was on when I walked in.. I took off my towel and hung it behind the door and when I walked towards the shower.. there was Enrique who'd forgotten to lock the door since it was nighttime and he thought everyone was asleep.

I should first explain our bathroom which Kalvin designed.. it's pretty cool and influenced by Japanese washrooms. The room we wash in has a big bath that takes up a third of the room starting from the wall and two thirds of the right wall is seated while the other wall has 4 shower heads. The whole room can be like a steam room although we tend to not use this feature any more than twice a week. More than one person can go in at a time since he thought this would be more useful so that all the guys can shower at once and all the girls can too. We currently have 3 guys and 3 girls in our household thus it's better in the mornings when we're in a rush for work. The door into the washroom is from what we call the "sink-room" since it has two sinks on each side of the door (the room used to be part of the bathroom). Each sink has 2 sets of hot and cold taps. We use this room to brush our teeth, put on makeup, shave, etc. The door out of that room goes straight into the lounge.

So back to the situation... He. Was. Naked. But so was I.

I couldn't help but stare at him. All of him. He couldn't help but stare at me too evidently hence him getting stiff in a certain area we know and love. Damn.. he'd grown. He didn't even care. He just kept staring at me.

A moment or two after the stiffness he started touching himself, he hesitated at first but when I didn't stop him he just went for it. I just watched. I was torn between being totally aroused by his perfect body and wanting to do the right thing which was obviously getting out of there. I was too stiff to even think but I was so wet down below like so wet I reckon a 20-inch dick would've made it all the way in, seriously.

He stopped touching himself and walked towards me, I shook my head as much as my stiffness was allowing. I was shaking. I kept my hands by my sides and I whispered: "I can't." I wasn't going to do anything. Never.

He kneeled down in front of me and I whispered again: "You can't."

He looked at my vagina for while before licking my clit slowly first, waiting for me to stop him and when I didn't he licked me out the best he could. It was so good that I ended up pressing my hand against his head to make him thrust his tongue instead me harder. I was going crazy.. it felt amazing. I came pretty quickly after that but was still aching for more.

He stood up and I kneeled this time. I wanked his dick a few times then put it in my mouth.. slowly going up and down his big cock and as soon as I started going a little faster.. he came. "Sorry." He said as I swallowed. "I guess I'm just too excited." He seemed a bit embarrassed but It didn't bother me since it became long and healthy again straight after I swallowed.

I stood up and put my arms around him and he put his arms around me. I whispered in his ear: "Fuck me. Please." To which he responded: "I thought you can't." Damnit. He made me want it.

The big bath which can fit about 4 people was full of hot water so he said we should go in. He sat down in the middle and held onto the sides. I sat on top of him inserting him as I went down and moaning as quietly as possible too. I started thrusting. He felt amazing.

We fucked for two hours straight. Honestly. We both couldn't believe how long we lasted. I gave him the credit since he knew just when to pull away and change position. We both had what we confirmed as the most intense orgasms of our lives so far. We snuggled in the tub for a while afterwards and during the snuggles he said a phrase I never expected at all: "I still love you." With that.. I got up out of the tub. He got up too but I turned around and said: "Don't follow me. I can't deal with your emotions right now.. I can't even figure out mine." I took my towel and walked quickly into the bedroom.

When I went inside I saw Kalvin sitting on our king-size bed with his PDA and his side lamp on. I guess my face must've shown my anguish since as soon as he looked at me he said: "What's wrong?" Putting down his PDA and clapping on the lights.

I told him the whole story of what had just happened and.. not knowing what to say he said instead: "Well that's certainly a good blog post for you." I smiled at that being thankful he wasn't saying something more judgmental.

"I'm such a whore aren't I?" I said to him.. feeling and showing regret.

"Hey! That's my best friend you're talking about." I smiled again and he hugged me. I started to cry. He wiped the tears from my eyes and asked: "Was the sex at least good?"

"It was incredible."

"Better than Matthew?"

I hesitated then nodded in response.

"Then you should go back to Enrique. Listen to your hormones."

"I'm so glad I can count on you to make sure my morals are in order."

"Oh come on, you were hardly immoral.. you and Matthew are on a break. That means you're entitled to have sex with other men."

"Since when?"

"Duh.. have you never heard of Ross and Rachel?"

"Rachel never thought it was right."

"Exactly. Ross did thus straight men do thus Matthew does."

"Stereotyping much?"

"Oh please.. people stereotype us gays ALL the time."

"True but we're still not solving anything."


"Ok.. clear your head and answer the following questions quickly."

"Okay."

"What's your name?"
"Venus."
"Who's your best friend?"
"Kalvin."
"Who's your next best friend?"
"Blondie." (Real name Brooke and Kalvin and his straight twin's slightly older sister.)
"Who's in your head?"
"Matthew."
"Who's in your heart?"
"Enrique."

Kisses, V.V.

The Age-Blog Thing

I'm not good at lying. I can only lie when I'm being sarcastic or when something very big is at stake.

So when I started this blog one of my best friends, Mya, told me to lie about my age since I was going to put my real name - why wouldn't I? It's a great name for my blog lol. So I did lie about my age. I said I was born in 1990.

Later on.. she found out and said that was too young.. so I changed it to 1987.

Now I can't be arsed to lie but Mya urges me not to put my real age, birthday, etc. So I'm not going to tell you my exact age, etc.

However this Venus is between 20-25 years of age. Is that good enough?

Kisses, V.V.

P.S. Well done America for voting for Barack Obama! Change is good! The near future looks bright!