Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sorry for Lack of Updates

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've been busy and there hasn't been much drama in my life at the moment but something happened recently that was too dramatic to not post.

Anyways.. over the weeks I'd sort of been avoiding Enrique where possible to decrease Matthew's jealousy but one night recently we went on a break.. here's what happened...

So obviously since I grew up with E, we both know way too much about each other hence E knows stuff that Matt doesn't know about yet.. one topic being food.

So like 2-3 weeks ago, the group (my roommates including Enrique) decided to arrange dinner at a great restaurant. Matthew said he wouldn't be able to make it since he thought he'd be too tied up at work.

We arrived at the restaurant and were seated in the VIP section (thanks to the hostess being a conquest of one of our group - the straight twin (yep we have twins in our group.. they're actually fraternal twins but they look almost identical although we can now tell them apart more due to the straight twin being a bit more buff than Justin Timberlake whereas the gay twin is buff but more slender than Justin Timberlake). FYI I'm writing this with the gay twin's help and he drew the comparison but I have to agree that the twins have a similar look to JT.. he'd also like to be acknowledged so I introduce to you: Kalvin. Oh right back to the story...

I ended up sitting across from Enrique. We ordered and we chatted. Just before the food came, Matthew arrived but obviously sat at the end of the table - also on the opposite side - since he wasn't able to sit next to me (I was in plain sight of him though and we would smile and he'd sometimes mouth "love you" which was cute).

So the food came and I had some rocket on my dish which I hate and Enrique doesn't mind.. he had tomatoes on his plate which he hates but I don't mind. Growing up, we'd often give each other food we didn't like but the other doesn't mind and when he became one of my roommates we started doing that again just not in front of Matthew due to his ever-increasing jealousy. We weren't gonna hide this fact at first but some of the group pointed out that its something that is only restricted to couples and best friends of the same sex.

However we forgot about the fact it would be weird and on a reflex starting swapping.. with Matthew watching. I looked up after we finished and he had a solemn expression on his face. I smiled at him to show him it wasn't a big deal and he tried to smile back but he obviously thought it was weird. A few of the group looked at me in a "I told you so" way and I just shrugged it off.

He was sorta quiet in the car home and told me he had an "earlier morning because he didn't finish the work he was supposed to finish by tomorrow" so he dropped me off at my place instead of bringing me back to his. I called him on it asking him what's wrong? He just said he was tired and I told him I knew it was about the whole food thing and that it was pathetic to be jealous of that.. he's a friend and nothing more and the more he overreacts the more he drives me to actually wanting to be with Enrique just to shut him up. Not the best thing to say but I had reached my tipping point and said I need a break from him. "You know what.. we are officially on a break.. I can't take your jealousy anymore." I believe those were my exact words before getting out of his car.

Unfortunately that wasn't the end of my night.. it carries on when I got in the apartment... I was BAD.

I decided to go for a shower to cool down since I wasn't getting sex that night and so I undressed in my bedroom, put a towel around me and walked into the bathroom.. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't realise the bathroom light was on when I walked in.. I took off my towel and hung it behind the door and when I walked towards the shower.. there was Enrique who'd forgotten to lock the door since it was nighttime and he thought everyone was asleep.

I should first explain our bathroom which Kalvin designed.. it's pretty cool and influenced by Japanese washrooms. The room we wash in has a big bath that takes up a third of the room starting from the wall and two thirds of the right wall is seated while the other wall has 4 shower heads. The whole room can be like a steam room although we tend to not use this feature any more than twice a week. More than one person can go in at a time since he thought this would be more useful so that all the guys can shower at once and all the girls can too. We currently have 3 guys and 3 girls in our household thus it's better in the mornings when we're in a rush for work. The door into the washroom is from what we call the "sink-room" since it has two sinks on each side of the door (the room used to be part of the bathroom). Each sink has 2 sets of hot and cold taps. We use this room to brush our teeth, put on makeup, shave, etc. The door out of that room goes straight into the lounge.

So back to the situation... He. Was. Naked. But so was I.

I couldn't help but stare at him. All of him. He couldn't help but stare at me too evidently hence him getting stiff in a certain area we know and love. Damn.. he'd grown. He didn't even care. He just kept staring at me.

A moment or two after the stiffness he started touching himself, he hesitated at first but when I didn't stop him he just went for it. I just watched. I was torn between being totally aroused by his perfect body and wanting to do the right thing which was obviously getting out of there. I was too stiff to even think but I was so wet down below like so wet I reckon a 20-inch dick would've made it all the way in, seriously.

He stopped touching himself and walked towards me, I shook my head as much as my stiffness was allowing. I was shaking. I kept my hands by my sides and I whispered: "I can't." I wasn't going to do anything. Never.

He kneeled down in front of me and I whispered again: "You can't."

He looked at my vagina for while before licking my clit slowly first, waiting for me to stop him and when I didn't he licked me out the best he could. It was so good that I ended up pressing my hand against his head to make him thrust his tongue instead me harder. I was going crazy.. it felt amazing. I came pretty quickly after that but was still aching for more.

He stood up and I kneeled this time. I wanked his dick a few times then put it in my mouth.. slowly going up and down his big cock and as soon as I started going a little faster.. he came. "Sorry." He said as I swallowed. "I guess I'm just too excited." He seemed a bit embarrassed but It didn't bother me since it became long and healthy again straight after I swallowed.

I stood up and put my arms around him and he put his arms around me. I whispered in his ear: "Fuck me. Please." To which he responded: "I thought you can't." Damnit. He made me want it.

The big bath which can fit about 4 people was full of hot water so he said we should go in. He sat down in the middle and held onto the sides. I sat on top of him inserting him as I went down and moaning as quietly as possible too. I started thrusting. He felt amazing.

We fucked for two hours straight. Honestly. We both couldn't believe how long we lasted. I gave him the credit since he knew just when to pull away and change position. We both had what we confirmed as the most intense orgasms of our lives so far. We snuggled in the tub for a while afterwards and during the snuggles he said a phrase I never expected at all: "I still love you." With that.. I got up out of the tub. He got up too but I turned around and said: "Don't follow me. I can't deal with your emotions right now.. I can't even figure out mine." I took my towel and walked quickly into the bedroom.

When I went inside I saw Kalvin sitting on our king-size bed with his PDA and his side lamp on. I guess my face must've shown my anguish since as soon as he looked at me he said: "What's wrong?" Putting down his PDA and clapping on the lights.

I told him the whole story of what had just happened and.. not knowing what to say he said instead: "Well that's certainly a good blog post for you." I smiled at that being thankful he wasn't saying something more judgmental.

"I'm such a whore aren't I?" I said to him.. feeling and showing regret.

"Hey! That's my best friend you're talking about." I smiled again and he hugged me. I started to cry. He wiped the tears from my eyes and asked: "Was the sex at least good?"

"It was incredible."

"Better than Matthew?"

I hesitated then nodded in response.

"Then you should go back to Enrique. Listen to your hormones."

"I'm so glad I can count on you to make sure my morals are in order."

"Oh come on, you were hardly immoral.. you and Matthew are on a break. That means you're entitled to have sex with other men."

"Since when?"

"Duh.. have you never heard of Ross and Rachel?"

"Rachel never thought it was right."

"Exactly. Ross did thus straight men do thus Matthew does."

"Stereotyping much?"

"Oh please.. people stereotype us gays ALL the time."

"True but we're still not solving anything."


"Ok.. clear your head and answer the following questions quickly."

"Okay."

"What's your name?"
"Venus."
"Who's your best friend?"
"Kalvin."
"Who's your next best friend?"
"Blondie." (Real name Brooke and Kalvin and his straight twin's slightly older sister.)
"Who's in your head?"
"Matthew."
"Who's in your heart?"
"Enrique."

Kisses, V.V.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Age-Blog Thing

I'm not good at lying. I can only lie when I'm being sarcastic or when something very big is at stake.

So when I started this blog one of my best friends, Mya, told me to lie about my age since I was going to put my real name - why wouldn't I? It's a great name for my blog lol. So I did lie about my age. I said I was born in 1990.

Later on.. she found out and said that was too young.. so I changed it to 1987.

Now I can't be arsed to lie but Mya urges me not to put my real age, birthday, etc. So I'm not going to tell you my exact age, etc.

However this Venus is between 20-25 years of age. Is that good enough?

Kisses, V.V.

P.S. Well done America for voting for Barack Obama! Change is good! The near future looks bright!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The First Argument

I love Matthew I really do but now that I'm hanging out with my first love again, I've been getting little hints of feelings towards him.. you know those feelings I used to have for Enrique - that's the toxic name of my first love.

I don't love Enrique again. Definitely not. No. Never. At least I think I don't.. no.. I hope I don't. Argh, if only he had just stayed in Japan or drastically changed his personality. He's changed, he's grown up but it's still him in there. Still my first love.

He's become a bit of a womanizer when we're out and about with the group - which he's a part of now what with being our flat mate and all. He knows how to chat women up and score - a bit of Barney (HIMYM). Being a best friend again, I've become a bit of a wing-woman. I sometimes do a Robin (HIMYM) and introduce the girl to him. It helps me see that he's different and he's just a friend.

When we are alone, however, it's a different matter, he becomes that sensitive guy that I fell in love with. That guy I thought was perfect for me. That guy that was perfect for me.

I don't understand why I'm thinking these things. I don't understand why even though I'm so in love with Matthew, a part of me, a small part of me, wants Enrique back.

Two of my best girl friends pointed out that Enrique is a more attractive guy and a little more my type. In fact, he's the exact type that I described to them was my type when I first met them. So maybe it is just lust? He's grown up and become more my type that I lust after - tanned, tall, dark eyes, dark hair, fit body. It's the body that's become perfect over the years. He's also looking more manly. Although saying this, Matthew almost fits all the criteria but he has blue eyes and is white, oh and I admit his body isn't as hot but still.. he's an almost perfect fit and right now is the one I love most. Yes, that's right, he is.

So onto the title of this post.. Matthew and myself had a bit of a fight. Our first fight. It really upset me although I do sorta understand why he became angry...

Basically I happen to be someone who's very close with guys as friends.. and gets along with more guys than girls. My two best girlfriends and a few other close girlfriends being the exceptions, all my other closest and best friends are guys. Thus, when Enrique came back into my life as a best friend, I started spending quite a lot of time with him catching up, etc. I mean, I still got my daily sex twice a day (morning and night) quota from Matthew but well it did become more like booty calls.

Now I'm not saying that I've spent all my free time with Enrique, that's not true but when we've been hanging in a group the person I talk most to is Enrique. I wasn't aware of this until Matthew pointed it out.

So here was the argument (I'm guessing everything isn't exactly as I write since I wasn't exactly memorizing his and mine words as we argued...

I walked in through his apartment door (he has a big one bedroom apartment all to himself) and he was waiting on the sofa pretending to watch the telly but I could tell that he was just waiting for me. I had just been dancing with the gang at my club.

"Hey." I said. "Sorry I'm a little late. The guys kept dragging me onto the dance floor."

"Guys or guy?" He replied firmly. Looking at me in a disappointed and serious way.

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind."

"You can't just say something like that and not explain it." My voice was now getting serious. "Which guy are you referring to?"

"We both know the answer to that."

"If I knew I wouldn't be asking." I had a suspicion it was Enrique but I wasn't sure at all.

"Enrique. You been hanging with him again?"

"He is part of the gang now so yes, I have." Sometimes Matthew acts so overprotective and like he knows better than me which is a real massive turn off. Just because he's in his 30s doesn't mean he knows better, etc.

"From what I've seen, the gang could disappear and you wouldn't even notice."

"What?"

"I went to the club earlier and you were dancing with him. You were all over him."

I paused at this with a look of confusion. Was he spying on me? Doesn't he trust me? I wasn't all over him. I was dancing. I get close to all the people I dance with. Boy friends. Girl friends. Strangers. I finally replied: "Why didn't I see you at the club earlier?"

"I saw you dancing with him and I left."

"Why?"

"I wasn't going to stay and watch my girlfriend who I love more than she'll ever know virtually caressing the love of her life on the dance floor."

"I wasn't virtually caressing him. I was simply dancing. It was a sexy song so I probably did some sexy dancing. I would've danced like that with anyone who was with me. Even my girlfriends, you know that, and for your information, the love of my life is standing right in front of me and I love him more than he'll ever know." He shed a tear. "Pussy." He laughed. "Why are you so threatened by Enrique? All you're competing with is history and I'm not a big fan of history."

"I'm just finding it tough to see you so comfortable with him. I keep thinking any minute now, you're going to realise that you still want him."

I sighed, walked over to him and I gave him a sweet snog where he wrapped his hands on my waist and lifted me up onto my tip toes. "I love you so much so I'm not going anywhere but to your bedroom with you to have amazing make up because we just had our first argument." I smiled.

He smiled back. "Wow you're right. We're still make-up sex virgins." I giggled and he went to kiss me again this time a quick no tongue kiss. "I love you. I love you so much. I want to be with you forever. I can't bear thinking of losing you." I smiled even more. He bent down and picked me up over one shoulder and took me to the bedroom.. landing me on the bed where we had our usual amazing nighttime sex where we both sweated the night away.

Kisses, V.V.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Update to The Blast from the Past

So I don't really wanna get into everything that's happened lately but it's been awkward and memories have plagued me but the main thing you should know is he's back in my life but as a friend and only a friend.

The reason he's back: He works with me now and has admitted he took the job because he found out I worked there.

The reason it's gotten more awkward: He's moved in with me and my roommates since one has moved out thus we needed a lodger asap and he needed a place to stay asap. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time anyway.

What's our history: We fell in love. He was my first everything. He broke my heart by moving to Japan with his family without saying goodbye.

Why I was in shock to see him again: I hadn't seen him since he left. I ignored him at first and told him to go back to Japan and leave me alone. We argued a lot. He explained it was because he knew that if he did the goodbye thing he'd find it even harder to leave *so TV-material lol*. It sounded cheesy but the way he said it felt real. Plus even now he still can't lie to me. I can always tell when he's lying.. and he can tell when I am.. can't believe we can still read each other so easily.

What's our relationship now: We're becoming best friends again which is what we were before we fell in love. It's remarkable how easy it is to just get back to the old days. Weird too. We're childhood friends by the way so I guess it's sorta inevitable that we still have a strong connection even after a few years apart.

Sorry must dash. There is a very naked Matthew waiting for me.

Kisses, V.V.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Blast From The Past

You know how when a relationship goes perfect and you sort of can't stand it because you keep thinking "there is no way everything can be so plain sailing". Well I had felt like this since the beginning of me and Matthew's relationship. I mean everything was just going too well. However, after much thought, I recently accepted this and just thought to myself "go with the flow" and I did but what a mistake that was...

Yesterday, I'm in my office doing my thing. Someone knocked on the door and I said "come in" as ya do...

"Hey." The man's voice said. I heard it but didn't answer since I was in the middle of writing. "You're busy then."

"Sorry." I said. "I'm just.." I looked up and froze.

"Hey stranger." He smiled. I couldn't smile back.

It was my first love.

Kisses, V.V.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Ambition To Say "I Love You" Back

After he said the magic three words, I tried to say it many times.

Attempt 1: The Next Day

Lunchtime and I'm standing in my office practising how to say it back in my head.

A few minutes later he walks in.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late, something came up." He hands me my sandwich and Cherry Coke. "What is it that was so urgent."

"Oh um.. well.. um.. I just wanted to say..." He looked at me, anticipating the answer. "..About last night I.. I.. love.. y..our tongue." Crap. So close.

He smiled but looked obviously quite disappointed. "I try my best."

I smiled and giggled uncomfortably.

That was the first of many attempts. Lost count of how many times I attempted to say it.

The Accidental Success: A Week Later (19.08.2008)

We're at his house.

It's morning.

I'm in the shower.

He joins me.

We've just had our usual sweet sincere sex.

We start fooling around then he grabs my butt cheeks and pulls me up to my tiptoes and plants a kiss on my lips.. a prolonged peck. He stares into my eyes.

"I love you too." It just came out of my mouth and I had no intention of saying it at that moment but I did.

He closed his eyes in relief as if he was savoring the moment. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and stared at me again.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say it. It feels like I've been waiting years." He chuckled with happiness. He looked like a little schoolboy who'd gotten his way, it was completely cute.

We hugged each other and called in sick after some shower sex.

The bosses above us weren't happy but we didn't care.

We were naked the entire time.

Kisses, V.V.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Perfect Night

We were at the point in our relationship where we were having hot steamy sex at night and sweet sincere sex in the morning. As much as I love both, we had sorta gotten into a routine (except the elevator sex) thus I felt it was time for me to do some spicing up.

I've been taking pole dancing classes for a while (one of my many hobbies) and I figured what better excuse to do my first show.

I have invested in a club in my neighbourhood and it's pretty popular not celebrity popular but after-work popular. It's a cross between the bar in Ally McBeal (there's a stage) and a regular nightclub. Normal people can perform which is what I love about it.

It was Monday night (11.08.2008) and I hadn't turned up to work and called in sick. I didn't sleep over at Matthew's (the first night I hadn't since we started dating). It was on purpose. I spent Sunday night planning and Monday day preparing...

He finishes work at 6pm.

He went home. On the table he would have found a note from me saying: "Come to the club at 10pm. Keep your suit on." (The club is closed on Sundays and Mondays.)

I was waiting at the club getting everything prepared. The stage was wide and had a pole and there was a sort of bridge to the second stage in the shape of a circle with about a 6-foot diameter in the middle of the dance floor. On it was a plain wooden chair - for him of course.

At 8pm exactly he knocked. I didn't answer, it was open and I was waiting next to the pole. He came in and I assume he saw the sign on the back of the chair saying: "Sit here." I heard him sit down.

The caretaker who was in the back switched on the stage lights which were set to a romantic red tint with a spotlight on the pole. The lights around the smaller circle stage he was on were also switched on. (The caretaker should have left after this but who knows..) I was wearing a lacy khaki lingerie set with suspenders and stockings, 4-inch black heels and a micro-mini pleated black slightly flared skirt.

He must have seen the remote to the stereo at his feet. He pressed play. Naughty girl by Beyonce played and I did my thing.

I used the pole.

I used the stage.

I used my flexibility.

I danced all the way to him. He had taken off his blazer and tie by this point.

I lap danced for him. At one point I sat on his lap and felt his already hard cock.

When he couldn't wait anymore, he grabbed me and kissed me. It was soft at first then it got deeper. The song ended after the kiss. Since it was the album in the stereo, the next song played.

He sucked hard on my nipple through my bra. He undid my bra, it fell off and he continued sucking on my left while grabbing and caressing my right. I moaned in pleasure giving out soft whimpers now and again. My nipples were rock hard and I was already wet. His cock was almost breaking through his trousers. I unzipped them and pulled out his big dick. I kneeled on the floor and gave him a BJ. When I was sucking his balls, I was wanking his cock. When I was sucking his cock, I was caressing his balls. His heavy breaths getting heavier even giving out gasps now and again. About 2 or 3 minutes later, he started to say he was going to cum and he did. I swallowed and he grabbed me up to kiss me. He didn't seem to care that after taste was in my mouth.

He got out of the chair and threw it off the stage. He lay me on the ground and held down my wrists. He kneeled over me. He kissed me softly. No matter how rough he was during sex, his kisses were nearly always soft and loving. I love that.

He started to suck my neck leaving a red mark. It felt so good. His crotch pushed up against me as he did it and I felt that he was hard again. He then rolled to my left and hurriedly took off both his trousers and boxers. Calvin Klein again. What a body. I took off my knickers and I rolled onto my side facing away from him.

He lifted my skirt out of the way and spooned me. My favourite position. I fingered my clit as he thrusted, he caressed my left nipple - sometimes pinching them hard and flicking them. At some points I'd even reach back to caress his balls.

After about 10 minutes or more and many a position later, I ended up on top and I almost screamed: "I'm cumming!" and he shouted back: "Me too!" A few seconds later we orgasmed. It was so good, I almost shed a tear. The spasms within me were so strong I collapsed in his arms and we clung to each other. He was so warm against my body.

Our breathing took quite a while to get back to normal but when it was he kissed me softly again. A long kiss and though soft, I felt as though I could feel his strength.

"I love you." He said, looking in my eyes with a look I had never seen from him before. It's hard to explain. It was as if a part of him had somehow become more serious, more mature. He put his hand round my head and lay my head on his chest. I clung tightly and so did he. His grasp around me was so urgent yet warm.

"I'll never let you go." He whispered. "Never."

I didn't say it back. I was just in so much shock but I smiled to myself. I was so happy. It felt too good to be true.

Typing this I realize it was the perfect night.. just perfect.

Kisses, V.V.

Friday, August 8, 2008

The Elevator And Us

Me.

Matthew.

End of a date.

Stuck in an elevator.

Hardcore elevator sex.

Kisses, V.V.

Friday, August 1, 2008

The First Sleepover Of Many

I make it a rule to not let guys sleepover and not to sleepover at their place. The morning after is always awkward but somehow after our first date it wasn't...

I woke up, saw the clock on the table that wasn't mine.. it was 12ish pm. I had slept through the morning. Turning over, he was there. He was awake lying on his back. He turned to face me with a smile.

"Morning." He said. I smiled back at him.

"Morning." I was happy. We had a fantastic first date. In fact we trashed the place a little when we went back to his... I felt like nothing could be more perfect. OMG, the feeling I get when I'm happy with him is so good yet so scary.

I went to kiss him, he kissed back and we had a morning romp in the sack. Although this romp wasn't a romp like last night. It was different. It was soft sincere sex. Sweet but equally satisfying. I had never made love - God, I sound like such a girl - like that before. Every morning since we have soft sincere sex.

I think I'm in love and it's scaring me so much.

I find myself getting jealous when I see him talking to someone who I think is at least or more attractive than myself.. well actually anyone woman if I'm completely honest.

I've been sleeping over at his every night since the first date. It's like I'm living with him. He loves that I'm always there and I love it too. I've even got some of my stuff at his. Is this normal so early in the relationship?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Shock Confession

"For God's sake don't ask for my opinion if you can't take it!"

Matthew and I were arguing again. It was supposed to be my day off but some emergency made me have to come in for a half day yet it was 3pm and I was still at the office. Paid overtime the whole day but that's not the point...

I sat at my desk frustrated. I had to cancel the spa for this. Deadlines keep being rushed these past few weeks. I took a few deep breaths: "I really couldn't care less Matthew, whatever you decide, it's fine. Can I go home now?" Matthew didn't answer, he was pre-occupied with the other people in my office. All of them voicing their opinions - mostly yes people.

A few moments later Matthew ushered the others out of the office closing the door behind them.

"I think I'm falling for you." He said. I looked up. He was sitting in the left arm chair of the two in front of my desk. He was looking at me in a calm manner. I didn't say a word. I just had a confused and shocked look on my face - I'm guessing.

"OK. I might just be falling in complete lust rather than love but I'm falling all the same."

"Oh OK and..."

"I want to take you out."

"On a date?"

"No. I want to take you out meaning to kill you. Of course a date." I told you he was sarcastic. I smirked. I got up and walked over to the right arm chair next to him. He watched me the whole time. I looked back at him.

"Where would you take me?"

"Dinner then back to mine."

"There's me thinking you weren't a cocky guy." He smirked.

"So this is just a 'I need to get laid' date?"

"No it's a 'I want a relationship' date."

"I told you I'm not a relationship person."

"Maybe you just need practice." He was serious this time as he said it. I stared at him for a few moments in a serious way too.

"Is it really a good idea for me to date the boss?"

"I think it's the best idea yet." I smiled to that. He was persistent, I'll give him that.

"OK. I'll see how one date goes.. on one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to go home now."

"Done." He got up and walked to the door. As he opened it he said: "I'll pick you up at 8 tonight." He smiled at me and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

Kisses, V.V.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Update To Rule-Breaking

I spoke to Darren today and we sorted stuff out. We are mates again but we've decided not to let our hormones get the better of us. We know how strong our sexual chemistry is thus we won't hang out anymore unless we are with other people.

Nia and him are doing good. They've decided to have a new slate. We've all moved on. He hinted that he might have told her about having his own little affair with someone but he didn't tell her who. No point in ruining all chances of salvaging their long-term relationship. (She used to always tell me how jealous she was of my looks, etc. and how she felt crap next to me - I always said she was silly to think that of course but all the same she did. Hence if she found out he lusted after me she probably wouldn't be able to get over it.)

I'm really happy for them. I honestly love them as a couple.

It might be hard to believe but I truly do feel guilty for being stupid and thinking of my own selfish animalistic desires first instead of doing what was right and being a good platonic friend to both of them. Although I do have to point out "it takes two to tango" and I'm sure he feels equally guilty and stupid.

I'm going to go back to a normal "Samantha Jones" type slut rather than the cheating friend I've been recently.

I'd like to add that I would never do what I did to any of my current friends. I simply just don't see her as much of a friend as I used to. We've drifted apart and so it was sort of easy not to think of her when I was with Darren.

I've never before broken the rule of: "Though shalt not flirt with or sexually touch thy friend's boyfriend." That was the first and last time I do anything like that.

Well I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Kisses, V.V.

P.S. I'm going to get Facebook soon and feel free to comment or email me via my profile. It would be fun to get feedback on my life lol.

The Rule-Breaking

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Unethical Attraction

Matthew.

Smart.

Sexy.

Assertive.

Challenging - he loves to argue.

Level-headed.

My boss.

I know it is so unethical to be attracted to my boss (hence the title) but I am.

It's torture because apart from my rule of: "No anal sex," my second rule is: "Do not fall for someone who can make or break your career."

It's not about mixing business with pleasure. I am for the latter but this unfortunately runs deeper...

He's the kind of guy I don't think I would ever get fed up with.

This troubles me big time...

I am not a relationship person. I can hardly see myself getting married. My role model is Samantha Jones from Sex & The City so do I sound like I'm the marrying type?

The short answer is: "No."

Even my friends know I'm not the marrying type.

Don't get me wrong, they never say never, they reckon I could fall in love but marriage is a lot more improbable.

I do see myself in maybe a long-term relationship starting in my 40s or 50s (with a toyboy if I'm well-preserved) and probably dabbling in some not so long-term relationships before then but not in a marriage.

The baby thing however is a different issue. I mean, if I couldn't find someone to be a great father, I'd love to have one with a gay best friend. My gay best friend, Kalvin. He'd be a great father. Fashionable, bitchy but loving and caring. Quite a stereotypical gay. (He never used to be but slowly developed into one when he realised he was good at being one hehe.)

Anyways.. back to the boss...

The day I realised I may more than fancy him was the night we worked late together. A probable cliché but the story...

There was a deadline that, at the last minute, was made for the next 24 hours instead of the original date.. a week from that day. So as you can imagine, the office was in panic and everyone had to work at least 7 times harder than usual.

Having called everyone to work early at 5am. We managed to get it done, not at the best level, but done. The last thing that had to be done only needed the boss and a helper. Being seen as the "Deputy Head," although that isn't my title, I was elected as the helper.

We had been arguing all day over the best ideas; however by this point, we knew we had to make quick decisions so we didn't have time to have long arguments.

We were in my office.

He brought me a coffee and suggested we should take a little break.

I was in black high-waist trousers that were a little wide-legged/baggy. (I was gonna wear a pencil skirt but rushing around the office in a pencil skirt isn't easy.) I wore a white blouse - tucked into my trousers with a wide black and patent belt on my high waist - in other words, the place where the shirt meets the trousers on the outside. I was in monochrome since I am taken a lot more seriously in black and white. I wonder.. does it remind people of the police? I don't know.. but it worked. Everyone got the work done quickly and efficiently.

He was in a sharp suit. He doesn't have the best physique but he's started going to the gym so he's begun to get toned and muscly. I've only seen his forearms when he rolls up or folds up his sleeves. They have muscle. He also has lost the double (almost triple) chin he somehow had even though he was not obese or overweight (at least he didn't look overweight before).
It's not the looks that matter with him though.

What he does have is charisma...

The smile.

The walk.

The humour.

The wit.

The stare.

This was the stare he was giving me at the time he handed me the coffee.

I stared back at him. My mouth slightly open. His mouth on his coffee cup, sipping.

I was so horny already and seeing him give me "the stare" was getting me wet, literally.

I sipped my coffee looking away from him.. I could see him staring at me in the corner of my eye.

There was definitely chemistry between us.

When we were arguing it was at it's best. I could tell during an argument we just wanted to rip each other's clothes off and fuck each other right there and then.. but since we argued mostly in public, around the workplace, that would be unprofessional...

He put down his coffee and talked:

"So what would you be doing if you weren't stuck here with me?"

Sitting on the front of my desk. I put down my coffee. I replied:
"At the club about to get fucked or at home getting fucked. You?"

"At home wishing I was getting fucked."
I laughed. He smiled. He sat next to me and picked up his coffee. I picked up mine.

"Who would you be getting fucked by?"
He said coyly. Sipping his coffee after he spoke, pretending he didn't care what the answer was.

"A fuck friend. I don't do one night stands. They're less likely to have gone by morning."
He laughed. I liked making him laugh because then there was: The smile.

Oh God, I've gone soft again... *Repeats to self in head: "I am not falling for him. I am not falling for him..."*

Back to the conversation we had...

I thought I'd play along with his game.. I put down my coffee.
"So who do you wish you were fucking right now?"
I said this, looking at him in the way I look at guys, who I want to kiss me...

He looked at me. Coughed. Stared at me again and..
"I don't know."

"Are you sure? You look like you know."
He put down his coffee. I don't know what made me stand up.. but I did.
"We should get back to work."
I said it but I didn't mean it. What I meant was.. have sex with me, right here, right now. Up against the wall, up against my glass window that overlooked the city, in my chair...

After a few seconds of: The stare. He stood up. He stood directly in front of me. He leaned down to kiss me and did. I kissed him back. An amazing, soft kiss. I was getting weak at the knees. He started undoing my belt, unbuttoning my blouse. I started unbuttoning his shirt. He was shirtless, I was belt- and blouse-less. I took off my trousers with the undoing of a zip. They fell right down. I kept on my black patent stiletto heels. I had matching lingerie - remember I'm a lingerie lover and collector. I stopped kissing him, went to my desk drawer and got out a few condoms. I put the rest on the desk and took one over to him. He had already taken off his trousers and socks. I took off his Ralph Lauren boxers. He was already hard, big, long. I put on the condom. I got up and he started kissing me again. He lifted me up still kissing me. I put my legs around his hips as he lifted. He pushed me up against the wall, I took off my bra. He sucked on my nipples. I was already so wet. He kissed me again and I stroked his dick.

"Put it in me."
I said softly but urgently. He did.
I moaned loadly. He started fingering my clit.
"Lie down on the floor."
Again, I said this softly but urgently. He did.

I did the reverse cowgirl - this gave me access to his balls. I got into position, putting him in me. He put his hands on my butt. I thrusted. I stroked his balls. Using my own wetness as lubricant. He moaned louder and louder. I moaned louder and louder.. I had one hand rubbing his balls, one hand on my clit. I thrusted and thrusted. He came. I came.

I got off him and turned around this time kneeling with my knees and legs low enough on either side so my mouth was in line with his dick. I sucked and soon it was hard again. This time he was heavy breathing. I love heavy breathing. I love him heavy breathing. After 2-5 minutes he came again.

"Your turn. Lie down."

He said, smirking, he kissed me before I did.

Lying down, I couldn't wait for him to do something.

He tongued my clit, fingering it. He put 2-3 fingers up me. He got man-i-cures, his hands were so soft. His feet were nice and looked soft too so obviously he got pedicures too.

My knees bent and pelvis lifted out of my control, he was incredible. I orgasmed big time.

I looked up, he went to get a condom.. he was coming in...

I was still wet so of course I let him.

A lot of thrusts and positions later, we both came this time me first then him.

It was indescribable sex, so passionate, so urgent, soooooooo good.

Afterwards, we lay there, recovering from the extremely sweaty sex.

I was lying on his arm, he had strong deodorant which meant he still smelt lovely. It smelt like Lynx. I love Lynx.

I decided to climb on top of him and lay there. He was looking into my eyes and giving me: The stare. I was looking into his eyes...

It hit me. I wanted to be his. It wasn't just the passionate, best sex of my life (though I'm sure that had something to do with it). It was everything about him. His modesty. His assertiveness. His charming personality.

I kissed him trying to prove myself wrong by keeping my eyes open.

I couldn't.

I got up.

I put on my clothes.

"What's wrong?"
He asked, with a concerned look on his face.
"Nothing that was more than I could've ever imagined it would be."
I thought I'd be honest about the sex at least...
"So what are you doing now?"
I was shuffelling papers on my desk.. pretending I was reading through something... He started to get dressed.
"Getting on with the work, remember? The deadline..."
"Aren't we going to talk about us?"
Yikes. He wanted the conversation... I hate the serious relationship conversations. All of them. The: "What are we?" And/or the: "Where is this relationship going?" These were the worst ones. I'm so bad at both. I always end up lying / saying something I don't mean. Like the "L" word just to keep someone happy. The problem was that this time it could almost be true...

I decided to nip it in the bud before he starts to get the wrong idea or the right idea...

I stopped organising the desk and looked at him straight in the eye while saying the following:
"This was a one-nighter. I know I said I don't do that and I don't.. with strangers. Since I know you, I assume you are safe. Plus I do find you attractive. I'm guessing you find me attractive so I don't think we need to make this anymore than it was. Two horny colleagues, perhaps even friends, who trust each other so decided to use each other for sex. No strings attached. I got some. You got some. It's finished. Can we work now..?"

He looked at me in disbelief. I wasn't sure whether he could see right through me or whether he was just shocked by my bluntness and agreed or worse, he was shocked and could see right through me but agreed with the lie.

He nodded, his head looking away from me. Looking at the papers on my desk.
"OK, erm.. sure. Whatever you say."
The stare.

I couldn't tell what he was thinking. No wonder he's a poker expert...

We threw away the old cold coffee. We got new coffee.

We made the deadline.

There's still chemistry and tension between us.

Everytime we're alone I leave immediately unless we have work to discuss then I discuss it then leave.

We still argue about work though, the best times at work are when we argue.

The heat. The intensity. Where's my rampant rabbit?

Kisses, V.V.

Monday, June 9, 2008

The Sex Buddy

I've never had much luck with boyfriends.
In fact, I haven't had a real boyfriend since my first.

The guys I know are either a friend, a fuck or a combination of both...
A guy who's both is what we all now call "the sex buddy" or "the fuck buddy".

Someone who can be a mate to you but also can mate with you and there are no sticky strings attached.

My first official sex buddy was the dark, tall, handsome, muscular Maxime of African-French heritage. His voice and accent are as charming and as smooth as one expects of a Frenchman. His physique was that of an Armani or Calvin Klein ad. He reminded me of a young Taye Diggs or Tyson Beckford. Simply beautiful. The perfect man.

However like most "perfect" men, he wasn't one. He was someone who was always busy, travelling around the world and this meant he could never hold down a relationship. One of the first issues he brought up when we became friends, was the fact he didn't like to mix work with pleasure. He considered friends as pleasure thus we would not talk about work so I never asked what he did. It seemed obvious he wouldn't say even if I did ask. One thing I was sure of was that he didn't have to work for money. He came from money. He'd talk about his family, how he grew up in a magnificent vineyard. How his house was the key to getting "Les Mademoiselles" into his bedroom...

Despite his good looks and charms, I never had any intention of having sex with him. He was totally my type but I just felt so comfortable and satisfied being his friend that I never thought to do anything more. Mind you, saying this does make me remember our undeniable chemistry. Our conversations would just flow and at times be obviously hypnotized by each other's lips. Yet, we never made a move. We would just continue talking. The only time we would physically touch each other was when we hugged hello and hugged good bye.

One day, when we hadn't seen each other in months, (we had both had a birthday during that time and coincidentally in the same month), he called me. It was about 8am in the morning and I was still asleep. I woke up to the sound of my ringtone and since I had set a particular ringtone for his number, I knew immediately who it was. So with a swipe of eyes to wake up, I reached over to my mobile and answered it.

After a quick conversation, I got up, showered, groomed, dressed and out the door with my essential big handbag. I walked to the taxi stand and I got in a taxi and told the driver where to go.

Within about 20-30 minutes of driving through traffic, I got to his house. Well, his mansion of a house. I paid the cab driver, got out of the taxi and I walked up to the gates and pressed the buzzer. He opened the gates and I walked through them and very slowly they closed behind me. Seeing the beautiful property as I turned the corner always made me feel like I was a few steps away from having a luxurious holiday, with his indoor-heated swimming pool, sauna, and even his own massage therapist who he could phone and they'd arrive within the hour.

As I was nearly at the front doors, they opened and out he came. He was wearing just a tracksuit, it seems he was on his way to his indoor gym. In his hand was a bag, a gift bag. I knew immediately it was a birthday present. I hugged him hello and he handed me the gift saying: "Happy birthday." I opened it and inside was some beautiful lingerie. I smiled gleefully, he had remembered I collect lingerie. We walked in the house and for most of the day we did the normal everyday things we always did whenever we met up. We worked out, we swam, we snacked, we watched movies on his huge TV, we walked around his gorgeous garden and other random things, of course talking almost the whole time.

It was about 5pm and we decided it was time for playing pool. This time the table pool not the swimming pool. We played a little and before starting our third game, I went to the toilet. When I walked back into the room, his 6ft 1in frame was sitting on the pool table with his hands in his pockets. He looked up when he realised I was in the room and as I walked towards him, he picked up my cue and handed it to me. I took it and walked straight over to make the break. As I did, he walked up behind me and put his hands up my top and caressed my stomach, up and down, up and down. I shivered as his hot hands rubbed against my cold skin. I turned around and we both went for each other's lips. His kiss was soft and gentle with just little touches of his tongue. This Frenchman could definitely French kiss. I put my hands up his top and he slightly jolted at my cold hands but then put his hands over mine to warm them up. He took off his top and we did more kissing.

Next, I took off my top and pulled down my skirt to reveal one of my sets of lingerie. Red. I was already barefoot as was he. He pulled down his bottoms and his Calvin Klein boxers to reveal, to my delight, a big black cock. A sight I had always been curious about and only seen in porn but never in person.. until then. I immeidiatey went to it and blew him. After the "job" and an orgasm, I swallowed - knowing he was a safe person - and drank some orange juice that I had left at the side of the pool table. He kissed me after my drink, this time a passionate kiss. He knelt down, sliding down my knickers as he went and I leaned against the table, holding on with both hands to the edge. As he licked, my knees eventually crumbled onto his shoulders and my back and neck had curved towards the table. My hands and arms became weak from grabbing the edge so hard. Then shortly later, I began to shake until I orgasmed with heavy moans. He took a sip of his own glass of juice and I went to kiss him passionately but I craved so much more so I whispered: "Fuck me."

He carried me onto the table pushing the balls away with a cue (which I assume he learnt from watching 'Alfie' the movie lol). He took off my bra, spread my legs and with his big cock that barely fit in my mouth, slid into my wet cunt. The size of it was just so overwhelming that he had to slowly make his way to put it all the way in me. Nonetheless it felt absolutely amazing. I shouted, screamed and moaned and so did he. Strangely, we said very few words while fucking. Yet when we weren't fucking we would continuously talk.

After a few positions we ended up on our sides in the spooning position. He had one hand on nipple and I had one on my clit. He breathed out: "I'm cumming." I breathed out in return: "Me too." And shortly after we both screamed out our orgasms followed by a lot of heavy breathing. I turned to lie on him with his arms around me and he used one hand to stroke my long dark hair off my face. He lifted my head from my chin and kissed me gently once again and said: "Thank you that was, incroyable." I smiled, gave him another soft kiss and replied: "Your welcome et bonne anniversaire."

We obviously became sex buddies after that.
We were the perfect sex buddies.
Friends by day... Lovers by night...

Kisses, V.V.

The Introduction

Hello all...

My name is Venus Valentine.

I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life and will do whatever she can to get it.

I am a heterosexual, bi-curious girl who's looking for fun times and a good life.

In the spirit of Belle de Jour and Sawyer, I will be sharing my mainly sexual adventures...

I will not share anything boring like my occupation, etc. unless it has something to do with one of my stories. But I doubt I will lol.

I truly hope you enjoy reading them.

Kisses, V.V.